WHAT I COULD TO DO HELP

In order to raise awareness to domestic violence, abuse, and rape, I want to do several things. One of the things I want to do is start a program where survivors make their way to junior high schools and high schools all around the country.  While at the schools, they would tell their stories on what they went through and how old they were, the age would allow girls and boys to be able to relate more with the survivor. However, the most prominent thing in each person’s journey would be what they did in order to stop it and how they got out of the relationship.  It is important for kids and teenagers to know that violence and abuse does happen, even to people their age, but the biggest lesson would be how to get out of those types of situations.  Hearing first-hand stories creates a more heartfelt understanding for things than it does by reading articles online about people’s experiences.  Not only would this allow boys and girls to learn that it does in fact happen, but by hearing what they did in order to stop it or get out of the relationship, it would aid in giving them knowledge on what to do if they would unfortunately ever get into those types of situations.

Another thing I would try to do would be to make a day of silence for domestic violence, abuse, and rape.  There is a day of silence every year for LGTB to spread awareness and the silencing affect of the bullying and harassment.  The same type of thing could be used effectively for domestic violence, especially for women, because women’s voices are often silenced or ignored, so if women all went silent for a day, the outcome would be incredible. People always complain that women talk to much, so if every woman did not say a word for a day, the impact would definitely get to people.  However, since women’s voices are often belittled and not listened to, if men would take place in this day of silence, it would make even more of an impact than just women.  Women are not the only ones that are affected by domestic violence, abuse, and rape, so it would only make sense for men to take part in it as well.  When men make bold statements, it is often seen and taken more seriously than if a woman were to try to make the same statement; it is just the way of the world.

By congregating and making this happen, awareness for domestic violence, abuse, and rape would reach new heights and hopefully more hearts. Nobody deserves to go through anything like that; spreading the word and lending knowledge to people who don’t know anything about it could save a life.

It’s time to stand up and speak up.

@4 months ago

"It’s not enough for women to speak out on the issue for the message to be strong and consistent, women’s voices must be backed up by men’s."

@4 months ago

⅓+ of teenagers will suffer of abuse in a relationship 

CAUSE:

Teenagers, aged 14-20, are at the highest risk for abusive relationships.  The question that is always proposed is if they are dating too early and should wait until they are older. Haya Siddiqui, a student at Northern Virginia Community College, says that she thinks abuse happens most often in teen relationships because they are at such an innocent stage and do not know any better.  A fellow student, Lauren Berg, thinks that teenagers are influenced so easily by everything around them, so if parents, other adults, media, or friends are going through something similar, it could influence them to follow in those footsteps.  The main problem is, as a teenager and going through an abusive relationship, the reaction can be as bad as suicide; teenagers already have so many things going on with their bodies and lives, to have that on top of everything else that naturally occurs is unimaginable.

EFFECT:

Teenagers are often not educated about abusive relationships and how to deal with them if ever in that situation.  However, over a third of teenagers in the United States will suffer some sort of abuse in a relationship. 41% of women and 37% of men say they were in some way a victim in a relationship. Teenagers are the faces of the future; if they experience abuse, they will be more likely to be part of another one as an adult.

One of the strengths to this is the fact that it address that it does not victim blame.  When abuse is involved in a relationship, there is almost always blame, and it is even more so almost always on the woman. The woman is typically put to blame because males are seen as the more aggressive ones.  With there being no blame in the picture, that means that there is less judgment from outside sources.

One of the weaknesses is that some of the information given is all opinions.  Opinions do not always help to shape out the situation to be the extent of what it really is.  Facts and more numbers help to set up the reality of what domestic violence and abusive relationships are and how they affect people.  With little to no support on the matter, it is hard to name it completely realistic.  However, getting outside sources opinions really do help to inform people who do not know about it by starting to form an understanding.

SOLUTION:

Since teenagers are never truly taught about abusive relationships, the thing that needs to be done is to change that.  Teenagers learn from elders, they follow in their footsteps, so if elders teach them all about abusive relationships and how to be strong and get out of them, it could potentially help a lot when and if they are ever put in that situation.  When Rihanna was seen in public after Chris Brown had beaten her, it shocked the world, the good that came out of that is the fact that it gave young kids and teenagers the ability to see that it happens even in celebrity relationships; Chris Brown was shamed by the public.  It helped teach young people the effects of being in an abusive relationship, both how the public reacted to Chris Brown and how Rihanna was the center of sympathy and people willing to help.  Hearing from survivors of abuse is always more heartfelt than being given a lecture about it.  If schools would take the time once a year and have survivors talk to students starting in 5th or 6th grade, it could help raise the awareness at a younger age. The younger the information is given to kids, the more likely it will be that they are able to avoid or get out of those relationships, which in turn leads to better relationships as adults.

@4 months ago

"Women are still being criticized for what they were wearing at the time of the rape and where they were when it occurred, and questioned why they were there in the first place–all of which would be unthinkable if the crime was, say, a mugging. No one ever questions if a person consents to other types of assault. Nonsexual victims don’t have to say ‘I didn’t consent to be hit with that crowbar.’"

@4 months ago

40% of domestic violence survivors are fired or fear termination 

THE CAUSE:

On April 11, Carie Charlesworth was fired from Holy Trinity School in San Diego as a second grade teacher because her husband was reported for domestic abuse.  They terminated her 14-year tenure because of cited concerns due to her husband’s behavior. During that January, her husband was reported to the police three times on account for domestic abuse and Carie went on leave; the next day, her husband showed up in the school’s parking lot and forced the entire school into lockdown.  At that point in time, her and her four children were put on indefinite leave, but three months later, she was told by Holy Trinity School that “they cannot allow” her to return to her teaching position there and her children were not allowed to attend school there. Not only is Carie not allowed to teach at that school anymore, but she is banned from teaching at any other Diocesan schools either. The melancholy of the situation is the fact that this is not an isolated incident.  A study was commissioned by Legal Aid Society-Employment Law Center in 2011 and it exposed that 40% of California’s domestic violence survivors report being fired or fear being terminated.

THE EFFECT:

The problem in this particular situation, and all the other situations that the 40% went through, is the fact that it makes women not want to come forward about their domestic violence. As a woman, people are constantly judging you: how they see you, view you, perceive you, and treat you.  Knowing that someone is a victim of domestic violence may as well be the same as putting a big red dot on their forehead.  It is true that you do all of that to someone, especially a woman, when she speaks up about anything, let alone domestic violence. In the case of Carie Charlesworth, had she not spoken up about her husband’s domestic abuse, she would still be at Holy Trinity School working happily and her children would be able to attend school there.

One of the strengths to this particular case is the fact that it shows that women’s voices are often silenced.  Females are always seen as the passive, belittled ones when it comes to a heterosexual relationship.  Even in this case, where Carie was the victim of the violence, the punishment went on her shoulders when it should have gone on the husband’s. This also in a way demonstrates victim blaming.

One of the weaknesses is the fact that there might be more to it than what is being said, both from Carie and from the school.  This entry just describes more so the situation’s outline than it does go into detail about the domestic abuse troubles.

SOLUTION:

What this blog entry suggests as a solution is giving her and other victims the ability to have a voice when it is needed.  Victims need to be able to come out to the public and speak up about what happened.  If someone is unable to speak up, they could get stuck in that horrific relationship and continue to be abused. In Carie’s situation, she spoke up about it, thinking it would be the best for her and her children, but it came right back at her. Going to authorities about domestic violence should put peace to victim’s world, not make them lose their jobs and schooling for their children.  She should never have to be in the situation that everyone just sees her as someone that was domestically abused, has a crazy husband, was too stupid to leave at the beginning, etc.  What victims of domestic violence need is a arms to fall back into, without judgement. Victims deserve to have a voice and the right to keep their jobs.

@4 months ago

it is time to stand up and speak up

If there is one thing in this world that breaks my heart, it’s the amount of people that have or currently are suffering due to domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Whether it be yourself, a loved one, friend, or just someone that passes you on the street, the fear installed into that person’s life is heart-wrenching. More individuals have been a victim to domestic violence, abuse, or rape than what majority of people realize.  There is not enough knowledge about these horrific things instilled in young minds;the generations and faces of the future. In order to prevent more people from going through them, more awareness needs to take place.

It’s time to stand up and speak up.

@4 months ago

"Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he’s got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids."

S.M. Stirling
@4 months ago

6% of rapists ever spend a single day in jail 

Violence, and the fight against it, may be the one unifying factor women across all sectors have in common other than their sex. Race, class, age, sexuality, gender identity, and ability all affect the type of violence women experience but none of these factors protect women from violence.

CAUSE:

According to The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), one in six women in the United Sates will be a victim of sexual assault at some point in their life; six percent of those crimes go unreported to the police.  There are several different reasons why women will not speak out about the violence in their lives, such as language barriers, fearing the legal system, or having little to no trust in authorities’ systems.  Immigrant women shy away from reporting domestic violence in fear of being deported; Non-English speakers or victims with disabilities have obstacles reporting; Navajo culture pushes for ‘peacemakers’ and tells victimized women to stay in abusive relationships and deal with it to bring back the harmony.  Lesbians have a tendency to keep their cases to themselves to avoid having their relationship or orientation publicized, or fears of hostility from the authorities.

EFFECT:

Because women are so afraid to speak up about their encounters with violence or sexual assault, it is leading to more and more rapists and offenders getting away with what they do and giving them the opportunity to strike again with more innocent women.  There is an average of three women being killed every single day by their intimate partner. The biggest upset: only about six percent of rapists ever spend a single day in jail.  The Federal Bureau of Investigation said that in 2008, 89,000 rapes were reported, but only 22,584 arrests were made. According to all of these figures, it seems obvious that something so life-destroying and something that affects so many people is being ignored and in a way makes women give up hope that anything will bring the slightest amount of justice to them.

One of the strengths, through a feminists view point, in this is the fact that it shows how women’s voices are often belittled when something comes up; if only about 25% of rapes reported are actually foreseen and arrested, then how much is really being heard from the women that are victims.  Chances are, if a rapist committed this crime once and did not get locked up, they will probably strike again.

One of the weaknesses about this article, in a feminist’s eyes, is the fact that it doesn’t elaborate more so on how women are judged for every aspect of everything. If a woman is in an abusive relationship, she gets judged; if she is raped and gets pregnant, she is judged.  One of the sections taught in women’s studies was about how women, in a handful of scenarios, are looked down upon no matter what they choose to do.  An example of this is when it comes down to virginity: if they are a virgin, they’re considered prude and goodie-to-shoes; if they are not a virgin, they are considered a slut, even if only sleeping with one person.

SOLUTION:

A solution to all of this would to someone influence authorities to take rape and domestic violence reports more seriously.  Too many people are affected, diseased, or even killed yearly. If women would speak up more about it and authorities would take it more seriously, it would make this world a little safer and a little happier; step by step everyone can work together to make a difference in the world, one voice at a time.

@4 months ago
@4 months ago